Part 11: Reconcilliation

Pairing: J/C, P/T
Rated T
Summary: Will they do the god's bidding?
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own the series and the characters that are related to Star Trek: Voyager, but the story is mine.
Length: 1,596 words
Date: September 1998

Kathryn awoke the next morning with a renewed sense of purpose. She knew what she had to do, and knew that she had to act upon her instincts and her discoveries. She knew Kathryn needed this bond between her and Chakotay in order to survive. She also knew, despite her absence early on, this child needed her, and needed its father. Yesterday, when she had gone for her checkup the doctor had mentioned that the child was developing normally and that she would have a son. Now that she knew the child's sex it was all beginning to feel more real. It was no longer such an abstract concept, but rather something she knew would happen, and knew the outcome. This was something she finally had some minute amount of control over, something she could discover, and which could be quantified. For this, she was grateful.

*She thinks she is in control. This fact is making her more comfortable with the situation. It is giving her the confidence she will need to continue the journey and complete the puzzle. The pieces are beginning to fall into place, the final stage is approaching.

Over the next month, Kathryn slowly earned back her friendship with Chakotay, but still she would go no further, and he did not push. In fact, unless she made the first move, he left her alone. She had begun to realize that this was exactly what she had asked of him all these years. *I just never thought being alone would be so lonely.*

One day close to five weeks later, she approached him following their shift. They were also it seemed, getting less and less shifts together. They tended to now work shifts opposite one another. Again, she was coming to the realization that she had, in a way, been the catalyst in this separation, and the reason for his distance. She had finally gotten what she had asked for, and realized it had been the biggest mistake of her life.

"Chakotay, can we talk?"

"Of course Captain."

He had not seen her much over the last month and had not realized how much she had grown. Her belly seemed to be stretched to unreal proportions. When he had lived on Dorvan V he had assisted in births, but he did not recall the women getting so large. Maybe it was just that this was someone he cared for deeply, and was not used to seeing looking this way. Or maybe he just still couldn't believe that she carried his child inside of her. Over the last five weeks of so, despite his absence from her life at her request, he had found a new respect for his Captain. She never complained, never asked for special treatment even when she knew the crew would be more than happy to grant her that luxury. He also worried for her. She worked the same hours now as she always had. She did not get enough sleep and he was sure she did not eat regular meals.

"Captain, what would you like?"

*God, I must have hurt him badly, but we need to get this out in the open. The crew is talking and eventually this will hurt our command relationship as well as friendship.*

"Chakotay, can we go someplace a little quieter, a little more private? And if you don't mind, I would appreciate somewhere to sit down. I've been on my feet all day and they're killing me."

*So she is more uncomfortable than she lets everyone see.*

"Of course Captain. Where would you like to go?"

*Will we ever get back to that point we had reached in our relationship after all those years of trying?*

"If you don't mind, I would like it if we could talk in my quarters... and you can call me Kathryn, it is my name and we are off duty. *And considering you fathered my son.*

"Of course Kathryn, after you." *I wonder if she misses me at all or if this is all 'for the crew'*

They entered her quarters, and she started talking right away. "Chakotay this has to stop. Our command relationship can't afford to be jeopardized by our personal feelings for one another..."

"Personal feelings? I didn't think you had any personal feelings Kathryn. I thought all you wanted was a command relationship, but I also thought I knew you before all this. I guess I was wrong about a lot of things."

Just as he was finishing his tirade the ship rocked under what felt to Kathryn like phaser fire, and then the lights flickered. They were hit again, the lights flickered and then darkness surrounded them.

On the bridge the computer beeped and panels sparked. The Malarians had attacked again. Tuvok was on the bridge at the time and had been informed that the power and life-support had been lost on decks seven through eleven. Lucky for them the emergency life support systems had been restored. He did not however have time to deal with the energy drain now. They had emergency lights and that would have to do. He knew the Captain and Commander were trapped somewhere on one of those decks because he was unable to contact them or trace them with the ships computer, and in their absence he realized the responsibility for the crew's safety now fell upon him.

***

"Chakotay what the hell happened?"

"I don't know Kathryn, it just went dark all of a sudden; my guess is the power went out. Shipwide communications are down too. Sounds like we've been hit, it appears to me that we're under attack."

That sarcasm hurt her. Did he have to be so cruel? She supposed she had been just as cruel with him over the years, giving him glimpses and pulling back. Right now though, she had to get to the bridge, she had to help her crew.

"I have to get to the bridge, the crew..."

"Tuvok is more than likely on the bridge and he is more than qualified to handle these altercations. We can't get out of here right now, so there's no sense in worrying about something we can't do anything about. You would probably be better off trying to get some sleep Captain. Stressing yourself and not getting enough sleep won't be good for the baby. I'm going to try and get some sleep on your couch. Goodnight."

He left the room knowing full well neither of them would get much sleep with their ship under enemy fire.

Kathryn tried to sleep, but her back had been bothering her all day, worse than usual. She started to get scared when the back spasms started coming at regular intervals. Hindsight being 20/20 she supposed she had known she was in labor all day. Far as she could tell, her contractions were about eighteen minutes apart.

The gods looked on. The moment of truth has arrived. The period of indecision is coming to a close. A decision must be made and will be made.

Over the next few hours the ship was volleyed with phaser fire and torpedoes. She knew what they sounded like. She had been in enough battles to distinguish every noise from the others. There was however her own battle going on in her quarters, the battle between her and Chakotay, and the battle against the pain. She had never in all her years felt so helpless.

Chakotay had managed to fall asleep somehow and she supposed, maybe if she had not been in labor, she might have done the same.

Chakotay woke up and realized he had heard Kathryn scream. He walked out to see she had been thrown to the floor with the last torpedo that had hit Voyager. He went to help her up. It was getting bad; they had to get to the bridge.

"Captain, I really think we've waited around long enough. We really need to get to get to the bridge where we can help the ship."

"Chakotay, I don't think now is a good..."

Another contraction hit her and she flinched. It wasn't a massive movement but it was enough for Chakotay to notice. He could after all, not stand to see Kathryn in pain of any sort. Although over the years he had inflicted much emotional pain on her, he could not stand to see it continue.

"Kathryn... what's wrong?"

Kathryn turned away so he couldn't see her face. He couldn't see her moment of weakness... he was her first officer. *And the father of your child Kathryn*

"Kathryn..."

She screamed out as another contraction hit and doubled over in pain, and Chakotay knew... he knew what was wrong.

"You're in labor aren't you? Damn it Kathryn, you can't do this alone. How far apart are the contractions?"

Kathryn looked at the chronometer. "About seven minutes apart."

"Come on Kathryn... let's get you into bed, you have to prepare for the birth."

"No! Chakotay, I can't. I mean I've never done this before... I'm scared."

Another contraction hit, and as the pain overwhelmed her she didn't even remember being pulled into the bedroom.

The gods looked on afraid for her, afraid for the child, and afraid of the choices they had made. *Her time is running out, and so is the child's.*

END PART 11

TBC IN PART 12