Rated: M
Pairing: J/C
Summary: Kathryn tries many things to 'boost morale'
Disclaimer: The characters always belong the Paramount, and some of the script, but the story is mine...thank god for small favours.
Date: February 2000

 

Author's Note: To all my loyal and not so loyal readers, this was written with the intent of fulfilling a challenge. A 'friend' gave me a line and said can you write a story around it, I thought, sure why not. So this is what came of it.

As the days went on, Chakotay realized Kathryn's ideas for raising crew morale were getting stupider and stupider. Last week, she had told everyone to dye their hair starfleet colours. Okay so the whole bridge staff had blue hair for a week.

Okay then there was the 'summer fun day'. The whole crew running around in shorts and tee-shirts. Then Tom walked onto the bridge in swim trunks and good old KJ gets another brilliant idea. 'Swim wear day', well that didn't go over well and didn't fly, even with the senior staff.

So there had been days of food with all of the federation cultures being featured, Neelix had loved that...well that was until Tom started a food fight with the gagh.

Chakotay was trying to figure out what the hell was going on with her.

Then just last week, she had decided that it would be cool for the whole senior staff to go to sandrines and have real liquer and the whole bridge staff had a hangover the next morning, not to mention, the real smokes that she had subjected everyone to, and the lung damage the doctor had to repair the next day.

Chakotay shook his head. So Kathryn's latest was an interesting idea. He thought he had gone mad when he had ordered his uniform from the replicator for the morning and it had fit him a little snug, just fit him. Then he had thought he had ordered the wrong size, and tried a size larger and the computer had promptly answered, "I don't think so, deal with it, and I guess that means tighty whities hmm?" In Kathryn's voice.

This had to end. This was absolutely ridiculous, or he thought so until he reached the bridge and found all the women in cloths tighter than Seven's outfit, and all the guys in skin tight pants, and shirts showing off more than he needed to know.

Kathryn sat in her Captain's chair admiring the asses of numerous men going by, until Chakotay decided it was time to beat her at her own game. He walked up to her, and pulled off his shirt showing his muscles. Kathryn drooled. "What are you..." Her phrase trailed off as she admired him more closely.

It was then, after little thought about the way it would look that he threw her over his shoulder and marched to the ready room.

From the bridge he heard Harry and Tom forming cat calls, and clapping their hands. Then she heard Seven's voice. "What does the pharse 'you go girl' mean Ensign?" Harry blushed, "Ask the doctor at your next humanity lesson Seven." Then he glared at Samantha Wildman who had let that slip.

Samantha whispered a sorry and crawled back into the woodwork until her character was needed for a plot again. She did make a comment before she left mind you. "By the way guys, why is it that my daughter, who is only four, and who looks like she's 15 get more air time then me?"

Harry looked back to her smugly. "Let's see, well, she's cuter, better looking and a better actress Sam."

Sam grumbled. "Oh yeah, right." And walked off the bridge.

In the ready room Chakotay tossed the Captain on the couch. "Alright Kathryn, you want to boost morale fine, but you're not going anywhere until I deal with the sizzle in my pizzle." He pointed down below. "Nice idea Kathryn, but these pants don't leave much to the imagination, and..."

Kathryn drooled, "Oh I know commander, I know."

Twenty minutes later Seven returned. "Ensign, I have just visited the doctor with my inquiry." She raised an eyebrow. "You go girl indeed."

THE END