Pairing: J/C, P/T
Rated T
Summary: Will they do the god's bidding?
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own the series and the characters that are related to Star Trek: Voyager, but the story is mine.
Length: 1,464 words
Date: September 1998

It had been seven weeks now. Kathryn had been comatose for seven weeks, six from the time the doctor had informed him of her condition. She would probably never forgive him. He had had the power to tell the doctor to abort the child but he had told him not to. How would she react to waking up and being four months pregnant... if she woke up at all? He rested his hand on her swollen abdomen, and he felt t he child move.

The child was moving, his child: their child. Their child was making its presence known. *Gods Kathryn, you should be the one feeling this miracle, being a witness to our second chance.* He laid his head down and cried. He cried for Kathryn, cried for their child, and cried for the loss of innocence. Her innocence, his ignorance and the innocence of the child she carried. Kathryn had been kept in a private room and no one, aside from himself had actually been told of the nature of Kathryn's illness, and no one, but no one had been informed of Kathryn's impending motherhood. It was time to tell at least the senior staff of the situation.

The doctor was about to go in and check on Captain Janeway's condition. He stepped into the room and saw Commander Chakotay crying over the Captain's still form. *I hope you come out of this Captain. If not I think certain members of the crew will have difficulty coping.* He left the Commander to his misery. He hoped the Commander would be okay. There were too many people depending on him and on his strength. He knew this whole situation had been kept quiet, but it could only be kept like this for so long before someone found out.

***

The next morning Commander Chakotay called a senior staff meeting, to inform them of the situation.

"Okay people, first order of business... you all know it's been about seven weeks since the Captain went on leave. In reality, The Captain is very sick; she's been comatose in sickbay for the past seven weeks. Um...I would appreciate it if we could keep this among the senior staff."

He saw nods of agreement and he knew he would have the support he needed, he just hoped Kathryn, wherever she was, had the same support.

***

Kathryn felt a presence. She knew it was Chakotay. She knew he was there for her. In many ways she depended on him whole-heartedly, for commanding purposes and as her best friend. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, she needed him, and in some ways she also knew she loved him.

*Kathryn of earth, prove it, prove it and you will be given back your life.*

"How can I be given back my life, it was never taken from me! Where am I? Who are you? I need answers!"

*And you will get the answers you need, if you pass the test and succeed in the trial.*

"I don't have to prove myself to you or to anyone."

Her surroundings darkened, and a bolt of lightning hit very close to her; an image appeared. The image that appeared was one she knew all too well, one of a place she missed, a place that was an influential part of her life no matter how small. She saw New Earth, she saw their life, the life which had started and which had quickly ended, not by her choice, not by his, but by a twist of fate. Her life had been forever changed by a disobeyed order. At the time she had wanted to go back to Voyager, but she was no longer sure if this is what she had really wanted, or if the decision had been made out of fear. Fear of intimacy, fear of losing him, fear of losing the friendship she had worked so hard at over the years. Despite everything she knew she could never cross the line between friendship and lover.

*No, this will not be allowed to proper. You must realize, you must accept your fate, you must accept the gift.*

Kathryn was so confused. *What did they mean? What was the gift? What did she need to accept?* In order to know what they meant she would have to look inside herself, find the truth within herself. She knew she could do this. Kathryn Janeway had never backed away from a challenge, and wasn't about to start now. "My crew needs me, what do I have to do to be returned to them, to my life?"

*The choice is yours. When the decision is made, you will be restored.*

There was another flash of light, brighter than the last; a flash that almost blinded her, and another image appeared. It was another image she relived every day of her life. It was an image of her and Chakotay and the incident with the Borg and Species 8472. She heard herself telling Chakotay she was alone. At the time, she had known she was not alone, she had always known. He had always said her needs would come before his. She had accepted this at face value, but had never really looked inside herself. She had never really seriously considered the possibilities. She had known for some time that he loved her, but did she love him? Had she ever loved him? Had she always loved him? The confusion was overwhelming. Then and there she made a decision; she decided she needed to get back to her life. If the only way to do this was to reconsider her relationship with Chakotay then that was what she would do.

*She still does not understand* "You must do more than just consider the possibilities, you must embrace them."

Then she became aware of another image, but this one did not look familiar. She was older, much older and she looked miserable, tired and unhappy. *How old am I here?*

"Not nearly as old as you look Kathryn; that is what loneliness does to a person."

"But I'm not lon ely. I'm on a ship of 150; there are people everywhere, as the Captain I interact with people constantly."

"There is a difference between interaction and intimacy, and this is the difference you have to realize... this is the test Kathryn, the test you must pass. There are many people counting on you, more than you could ever imagine."

***

Chakotay spent all his waking moments when he wasn't on duty with Kathryn. She needed him right now, and so he spent the time with her. He read to her, he pretty well lived with her when he wasn't working. He loved her, and their child. The child was very active. According to the doctor, Kathryn was approaching her fifth month, and he worried. He needed her, and the crew was beginning to grow suspicious. He and the senior staff continued to stick to the story that she was on leave and did not want to be disturbed. He knew in some ways his efforts were useless, when the baby came, they would know. *How long can we keep this up?*

"Kathryn, I know you're far away from here tonight, but I need you and so does the crew, and so does this child. Please come back to us."

The Doctor walked in. *He spends a lot of time here. I wonder if he was trying to save face by telling me they had not had a sexual relationship?* Oh well, it didn't really matter. What mattered were his decisions. He wasn't sure how much longer she could survive like this, being fed intravenously. He would have to discuss this with Chakotay.

"Commander, I'm glad you're here. We need to talk about the Captain."
"What about the Captain?"

"If she does not come out of the coma..."


"Commander! I know she's a survivor, but I need to plan for every contingency, not just the best possible scenario."

"And not just the worst doctor."

The Commander stormed out. Despite the number of times Captain Janeway ha time since he had met her all those years ago, he realized she wasn't larger than life, and she was, in reality, just as fragile as anyone.

END PART 7

TBC IN PART 8