Part 4: The Gods Have Spoken

Pairing: J/C, P/T
Rated T
Summary: Will they do the god's bidding?
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own the series and the characters that are related to Star Trek: Voyager, but the story is mine.
Length: 794 words
Date: September 1998

*She thinks she is alone in the world. She is no longer content with her life, she needs stability, companionship. She is unselfish. She has provided her crew with what they need, a stable Captain, good leadership and now her wishes should granted, they will be granted.* So it happened. Her wishes came true, and so her future, her life was fulfilled. If only she could realize the immense gift she had been given, might the fulfillment of her dreams turn into everything she had ever prayed for.

The weeks passed and the gods watched her, protected her. Still she refused to believe. Believe in them, believe in him and believe in herself. No matter how much she appeared to be strong and stable, she was not. Her life had been lacking, but was no longer so. The absence of realization, and action on her part was causing concern among the gods who had so graciously granted her every wish and desire. Although she had yet to realize it, her life would change, most certainly for the better; she just had to accept it.

***

Kathryn was tired, so tired. Odd thing was she had slept more in the last two weeks than she normally did in an entire month, but the nightmares, they were awful. *What the hell is happening to me?* Lately she found herself more and more drawn to Chakotay, more attached to him. They spent more time together, were often compelled to be together.

The gods were watching. They knew, she knew. *She is finally realizing something is not as it used to be, that something has changed.*

Kathryn had the strangest feeling. She felt as if someone was watching her, guarding her. She had never, in all her years in Starfleet felt as she did now. It was an odd sensation. Despite how exhausted she was, she felt more at peace then she ever had before. *I need answers. I need to know what's going on with me.* Despite her feelings of trepidation at seeing the doctor, she knew she had to. *You're no good to the crew, if you're no good to yourself Kathryn.*

*She is realizing, the facts will be known. The moment of truth is approaching; reality will bear its teeth. Her acceptance is essential to her survival, and to the survival of her crew. The gift must be cherished, honored... its survival is her survival is their survival.*

***

Kathryn finished her shift. She headed for the turbolift. All she wanted to do was go home, take a bath and curl up in bed and sleep for as long as she could.
"Captain, hold on a second..."

*He can't see me like this. He knows something isn't right.*

The gods watched on. *He knows better than you Kathryn Janeway of Earth.* He has accepted the truth, cherishes the situation and he honors the time you spend together.*

Kathryn entered the turbolift, followed closely by Chakotay, her commander and best friend. She had always felt comfortable and completely at ease with him, but for some reason, her senses were telling her something was wrong, something was not quite right with the situation. Little did she know that her worst fears or possibly her wildest dreams were about to become realities, and the outcome depended solely on her.

*Okay Kathryn, you can do this, all you have to do is make small talk with him... talk about ships systems or something, just avoid certain topics of conversation.*

The turbolift doors closed and Chakotay knew he had to get this out in the open. "Computer; halt turbolift."

"Kathryn, what's wrong with you lately. We get close, and then you push me away. I know you're afraid, but I also know you want this as much as I do."

"Chakotay, I can't. It doesn't matter how much I want this, I can't have it."

*The confrontation has occurred. The moment of truth is upon us. She is refusing her heart, her soul, her lifeline. The rejection of the heart and the gift is not an option. She will pay the price, this doubt mustn't be allowed to prosper.*

"Kathryn if you'd just open your mind to the possibility, open your heart... Kathryn?"

Kathryn collapsed; Chakotay felt for a pulse, it was weak and thready. He felt his soul dying.

Chakotay tapped his combadge, "Chakotay to doctor, medical emergency. Two to beam directly to sickbay."

*The punishment has been executed, resistance is not an option. The test will be exacted upon her.*

END PART 4

TBC IN PART 5

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