A Matter of Principles

A Matter of Principles
Part IV

Rating: M
Pairing: J/Kashyk, J/C
Summary: Principles, principles, can she disobey her almighty principles?
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own the series and the characters that are related to Star Trek: Voyager, but the story is mine.
Length: 635 words
Date: January 1999

She felt him in the room. She'd had enough, why couldn't everyone just leave her alone. *Because you're the Captain Kathryn, and that forfeits your life.* She was so angry. He continually intruded and he had no right. But at the same time she wished for it and needed it.

"What the hell are you doing? What right do you have to barge into my life like this? It's a constant thing with you. Can't you just leave me alone?!" She turned back around and hid the pad between the cushions on the couch.

Chakotay was still standing there flabbergasted. *She's pregnant. My god.*

"Chakotay? Chakotay... I asked you to leave my room..."

"You're pregnant."

It was a simple statement. It was merely a statement of fact, but it bothered the hell out of her. Then she realized he was still talking to her.

"...it's just a matter of time before someone notices. You can't just hide something like this. You're not exactly a big woman, you don't think people are going to notice when you all of a sudden start gaining weight, and when the baby is born, and it isn't exactly going to look 100% human is it..."

She couldn't listen to this anymore. She couldn't deal with it. "So what if it doesn't. Then the crew will know what kind of a whore their Captain is. So what. Besides who said I was going to keep it anyway. Who said I was even pregnant?"

Chakotay looked at the frail, confused woman in front of him. He realized she had sacrificed her principles for the crew, and this was one sacrifice she couldn't live down. "I saw the padd Kathryn."

The use of her name, he had used her real name. He had called her Kathryn. The tears began all over again. "Get out Chakotay. I can't deal with you right now. Just leave me alone."

Despite the way she treated him on a constant basis he needed to know she was taken care of. "Kathryn, when was the last time you ate? For that matter: When was the last time you saw the doctor?" Kathryn looked down at her feet, she wouldn't look him in the eye, and he knew. "He doesn't know you're pregnant does he? Kathryn, you can't do this alone. You have to tell him."

"Don't presume to know me, or what I've done, or what I need to do. I'll take care of myself. I always do, I always have, and I will continue to do so. As for this child, it's my personal business. Stay out of it. You're dismissed 'Commander'."

He didn't know what to do. He didn't know if there was anything else he could do. He did know though, that this could only go on for so long before it caught up with her. She was going to have to deal with this on her own time in her own way. When she was ready: he was here for her.

"Well 'Captain', I'm here to talk if you need to, after all... you did designate me the unofficial ship's counselor."

With that he left. He left his Captain and best friend alone to her misery. He just hoped she realized 'she wasn't alone' before it was too late for him to help her, because no matter what, in one way of another, in one capacity or another, he loved Kathryn Janeway. He needed Kathryn Janeway, and right now, even if she didn't know it, Kathryn Janeway needed him.

TBC in PART V