Hits and Misses

by: AW and Kadith

Pairing: Lots but no one specific
Rated K
Summary: A poem about what lonliness feels like to Kathryn.
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own the Star Trek: Voyager and the characters, but the story is mine.
Length: 3577 words
Date: December 1998

This day had been inevitable. Everyone knew it. From the first time the two of them had been caught in Jeffreys tube 14 to the final day of necking in sickbay, they had known it would not last forever. There is a subtle difference between love and lust, and Tom Paris was the master of only one aspect. Today he would end his comfortable sex games with B'Elanna and move on to greener pastures. There were still many fish in the sea, and he had tasted but a finite number. Her days were numbered and today the countdown got to zero. "I'm sorry B'Elanna but it's over."

He imagined her response, she'd rage at him for being a pig then agree that it was time they went their separate ways. He knew she had her eye on one of her engineers, and it was that which convinced him to move on. He hoped they could do so amicably, but if not, that was fine too, it wasn't like they spent that much time working together anyway, and besides, Harry would just smooth the waters for them anyway. So it was with that confidence that Tom Paris went off to become a free man, and it was also with that confidence that he found himself in sickbay with a broken nose. In all his imaginings he hadn't expected her to actually deck him, but she had. But given she'd only hit him once he thought she'd taken it rather well, or not. But regardless, it wasn't his problem anymore; it was Ensign Dalian's problem, since B'Elanna would probably be on his doorstep within the week.

Paris was in his quarters. He looked in the mirror. *Yeah, I still have it.* He thought about who his next conquest was to be. He knew who he'd had his eye on since she'd freed him all those years ago at the penal colony. He had looked at those legs, looked up into those piercing blue eyes, and knew that if he did manage to bed her, he would no doubt be considered the king. No question about it. She was the ultimate conquest and the ultimate prize. Tom planned his next move. He felt like he was playing chess, planning each move, taking the opponents pieces one by one. The King was the last, and it was named Kathryn Janeway.

Kathryn had first heard of Tom and B'Elanna's break up from the mouth of her gossip source, and the light he painted Paris in didn't bode well for the young pilot. Of course, she wouldn't have expected Chakotay to paint Paris in a good light in any situation, least of all when it came to B'Elanna. She felt sorry for the young woman, to put so much time and effort into a relationship only to have it thrown down the drain by an inconsiderate partner. Actually, when she thought about it, Tom reminded her of Cheb Packer, the little cretin. She couldn't blame B'Elanna for decking Tom, even if it had resulted in a broken nose, the jerk deserved it. She sighed and looked at Chakotay who was awaiting a decision from her regarding the two crewmen. "Let it go, I think B'Elanna handled the situation. But I believe a talk with Tom on consideration for his fellow crewmates is in order. We have a long journey ahead of us, his behavior isn't going to make it any shorter, or any easier."

Chakotay looked at her. "True, but when has Tom ever made anything easy on anyone?" Janeway thought about it. "That is definitely true, but what about if..." Kathryn stopped mid-sentence. She turned to Chakotay. "Never mind. You know, no matter what he is the best pilot we've got, and we need him as a medic." Kathryn sat and decided she was going to teach Tom a lesson he would never forget and in the meantime she was going to get some sex...and perhaps even make Chakotay jealous enough to make a real move on her. After dancing around each other for years, she needed him to make a move. As Captain she couldn't make a real move. She felt as if she were playing a game of chicken and so far she was losing. "Well Chakotay, we'd better call it a night. Tom will learn his lesson sooner or later." Chakotay left and Kathryn went back to plotting. *I wonder if old Tom is as good in the sack as the rumors say? Well I guess I'll find out soon enough.* She hoped Chakotay saw this as a challenge and an opportunity and not a defeat.

He had to have noticed by now that the times she was the most turned on by him were those when he took incentive and put her in her place. She wanted a real man, she didn't want someone who was going to follow her blindly; she wanted someone who would stand beside her. She wanted Chakotay; he had the potential, had shown the potential, but in recent times he'd taken to following her around, and a little prompting was what he needed. Or so she hoped. She went back to her quarters and thought over her choices, how to get Tom alone, she didn't want to do it during their duty shifts, and she didn't want the rest of the crew to know about it. As she considered her options she realized Tom had been spending a lot of time in his old Sandrine's program, probably honing his techniques, the pig. Kathryn smiled, it had been a while since she'd taught him a lesson at the pool table, perhaps now she could teach him a lesson *on* the pool table.

Kathryn walked through the halls of Voyager. "Computer locate Tom Paris."
"Tom Paris is on holodeck 2."

*Perfect.* "Computer what program is running?"

"Paris345."

Kathryn knew this was the Sandrine's program. "Computer is there anyone else in the room with ensign Paris?"

"Negative."

This was her opportunity. *You think you know it all don't you fly boy? We'll see.* "Computer engage privacy lock as soon as I enter the holodeck. No entrance. Authorization Janeway Phi 110."

"Confirmed."

*Let's see what your next move is Tom. Watch out for the black ball.*

She walked into the holodeck and heard the door close. "Captain, what can I do for you?"

"I'm here to teach you a lesson on the proper way to hit the ball."

Tom's brow shot up, he just couldn't resist, this was too good an opportunity to pass up, "And just what ball would that be Captain?"

She had to fight the urge to roll her eyes, "What ball do you think I mean Tom. Or should I say, balls." She just about purred the last word in that statement as she stepped up to the pool table and reached past him to take his cue stick. She made sure her body brushed against his in just the right places, then leaned back and took a shot on the table.

Tom grinned, "It's been a while, are you sure you still know how to play this, game?"

She turned on him, giving him a slow, crooked grin, "Why don't you wait and find out."

She had many thoughts running through her mind at that moment. The most prominent was *Oh brother. So Tom thinks he's all that does he?*

"Tom exactly how do you know it's been a while?"

"Well, you haven't made a pass at me yet, and so anything else was just practice wasn't it?"

*You have got to be kidding me Tom.*

Kathryn just put on her Arachnia smile and decided to get on with it before she puked. "It's hot in here Tom, I think I'm going to take my jacket off." Kathryn stripped down to her tank top, making sure he saw she was braless.

"That's too bad, I like a woman in uniform."

She did snort then, "Then perhaps you should go down to Engineering and see if B'Elanna is busy." She turned toward the door then, "Obviously I'm wasting my time here, maybe Chakotay is free tonight, since you obviously don't have the balls to--"

She was cut off as he grabbed her arm and pulled her to him, she found herself pressed against the pool table and his lips pressed firmly to her own.

She was pressed tightly against him, and she could feel his arousal through the thin material of his uniform. *So he has got it for me. This could be fun.* She reached down and started running her hand over the bulge in his pants. Tom reached up for the straps on her tank top. *He's really getting into this.*

Kathryn felt nothing more than the lust for the sexual joining she had not had in more than five years. *Oh yeah, I miss the sex.*

She decided to have fun with it. She undid his pants and reached down to slowly stroke his shaft. She pulled her shirt off to display her bare breasts for Tom to see. He had a twinkle in his eyes. *He thinks he's going to land me. Not in your life helmboy.*

She decided to play with him some more when all of a sudden she felt something sticky..."Nice shooting helm boy, but I think you missed."

Tom turned bright red, in spite of his early, resolution so to speak, he continued fondling her breasts. Kathryn arched her back and let herself indulge in the sensations for a minute before pushing him away. "Nuh-uh, I don't think so." She took a step back and reached for her tank top. I never was one for a man who dropped out of warp before ever engaging the warp drive. When you become a man, come find me, otherwise, go play with the ensigns, helm *boy*." She pulled her tank over her head and moved toward the door, using her turtleneck to wipe at the spot on her trousers where his aim had hit her. Then she folded her jacket over her arm and held it in front of her. She had to laugh as she made her way back to her quarters; she'd at least hoped Tom would hold out on her for a little while.

Kathryn was heading down the corridor when she met Tuvok. "Good evening lieutenant."

The Vulcan wrinkled up his nose. *Do I smell what I think I smell?* His Vulcan sense of smell was getting to him again. *Oh dear, it appears our Captain was with a partner who missed his mark.* Tuvok looked down at the stain on the Captain's trousers.

"Captain." Tuvok nodded to her and went about his business.

Kathryn turned purple. *Dear God, he knows.* She headed for Chakotay's quarters for the real adventure of the night. Too bad Tom hadn't lasted longer, then at least she would have had a point of reference. It had been a while.

She rang her Commander's doorbell and he answered the door...problem was, he wasn't exactly dressed for duty.

"Chakotay?!"

He ran away and went to go and remove himself from the dress. *I was waiting for Harry...oh shit.*

Chakotay went into his room and stripped off his cloths. Then he realized he was still wearing his emerald green thong underneath. *It was supposed to be for Harry, easy access and all, but I'm sure Kathryn will enjoy it all the same.*
Kathryn walked in furious. "What the hell was that Commander?" Kathryn saw his attire. The supple movement of every part of his body, the signs of arousal, the...*Oh hell I don't care.*

She pounced and threw him to the wall. "So Chakotay, who were you waiting for? Maybe we could ask them to join us...in a while. I get first crack."

Chakotay's eyes widened, his mouth fell open and all he could make was a barely audible whimpering sound. "Kathryn?"

She purred against his neck as she nipped and licked at his skin. "Well, are you going to answer me? Or do I have to torture it out of you?"

When he regained his senses he pushed her away, "Kathryn, what are you doing here?" His eyes drifted down to the wet spot on her pants, "And what is that?"
She looked down and rolled her eyes, "Use your brain, what do you think it is. I told you I was going to teach Tom a lesson. But that's beside the point; I asked you first, what in gods name are you wearing? And for whom?"

He shifted uncomfortably, "Well, um, you're not going to like this..."

She took a step back and crossed her arms, it seemed she wasn't the only one who'd been playing games this night. "Try me?"

He sighed, "I told the Delaneys they could have their party down in the cargo bay, I know you told them no, but it is their birthday." He watched her intently as he went on, "And then I agreed to go with Harry as the um...exotic dancer." He winced and waited for the explosion.

Kathryn thought about this...*Hmm, more fun.* "When is my little green ensign going to get here?" Chakotay couldn't believe his ears. "Kathryn?!"

"Well, I have to approve all recreational activities Commander."

Chakotay saw the twinkle. "Can I give you a sneak preview?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Kathryn reached around behind him and snapped his thong. Then she ripped it to shreds. "Don't worry I'll replicate you a new one." She held the thong in her hands and had just pulled her shirt off to reveal all to Chakotay when his dance partner came in.

"Captain?" He stuttered.

Kathryn whipped around to face Harry bearing all. *Dear lord, by the end of today the whole ship is going to know what I look like naked.*

Harry went running out of the room screaming. He ran all the way back to his cabin where he hid under a bed, trying to clear his pure and innocent mind of all the sexual thoughts which were going through his head. *Now I will definitely not want to join that monastery and stay a virgin.* He realized it was useless and jacked off using his dartboard for target practice.

Years later Tom would finally realize what he'd been shooting at for all those years.

Kathryn stared in the direction Harry had gone and put her hands on her hips, "Well I know I'm not exactly a spring chicken anymore but I didn't think I looked that damned bad!" She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned, "Damned Ensigns don't know what they're missing, damned kids."

Chakotay arched a brow and reached for her, "Well, I'm not a damned kid." He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her back toward him, "Harry is as bad as Tuvok, and he really does need to learn how to knock."

Kathryn snickered, "He's probably already knocking...."

Chakotay closed his eyes, "That really wasn't the mental image I wanted Kathryn."

She slid her arms around his waist and pressed her bare chest against his own, "Aww, poor baby, want me to give you a better one?" She tipped up and kissed his chin, then went back to nipping and licking at his neck. She pulled away suddenly, "I have just one condition..."

He arched a brow, "What's that?"

"If you get off early you have to do that dance routine of yours at talent night."

He grinned, "We don't have talent night anymore."

"Believe me Chakotay, something can be arranged."

Kathryn thought about the Delaney sisters' birthday thing. *Wait a second...their birthday was last month. He's going to pay for this. No one beats the ensign but me.*

"Chakotay, let's head over to the bedroom, I want somewhere more comfortable. I've been waiting for this for years."

Chakotay smiled. *Thank god she believed that thing about the Delaney sisters. If she really knew...*

They got to the bedroom and started necking. She could tell he wanted her...or wanted something. Let's see what we can do about that.

She was having way too much fun when...*Oh for goodness sakes...not again.*

"Out damned spot! out, I say! What will these pants ne'er be clean?"

Kathryn looked on. Well that's two points for the Queen.

She lay on the bed completely and totally frustrated, "What is it with the men on this ship?" She growled at Chakotay and pushed him off of her. "Maybe Tuvok will do..."

She started to get up, but he pulled her back down, not so fast, I'm not done with you yet."

She arched a brow, "That's not the impression I just got."

He pushed her back onto the bed and continued kissing her, after a moment she sighed, "Alright, you get one more chance."

"Chakotay? Wasn't the Delaney sister's birthday last month?"

Chakotay was caught red handed. "Uh, yeah but their party is now."

"I don't think so...your time's up Chakkers...or down as it appears right now."

She waltzed out of his quarters. *Next.* She thought about Tuvok, then thought against it. *He knows what I'm up to...that's no fun. She found herself outside Harry Kim's door. *Let the games begin...er...resume.*

"Computer open door alpha 345 authorization Janeway omega 132." The doors to Harry Kim's quarters opened. She found him sitting on the floor with...a poodle. "Aw jeez Harry. A poodle. I mean a golden retriever is my favorite, and I could see the appeal of a schnauzer, but a poodle? WHY?"

Harry removed his hands from the various areas on the dog's head and turned around. "I liked the curly hair."

She shook her head and sighed, "Give me one good reason I should stay?"

Harry shrugged, "I dunno, why would you want to?" He took in her attire, or lack there of and the growing wet spot on her pants. "Maybe because I've never done that." He pointed to her pants then to the growing bulge in his own.

Kathryn thought about it, then sighed, "Why the hell not." She stepped more fully into his quarters then locked the door behind her; there was no way in hell she was going to get caught with her pants down with Harry and a poodle.

Kathryn had never been fond of poodles and did the only thing she could think of. She recycled him for replicator rations.

Harry piped up. "Now why did you do that? We could have used him."

"The hair was too coarse. Not like the silky smoothness of the Asian hair." Kathryn rubbed his head. She pulled his pants down and looked. *Where the hell is it?* She looked harder and saw the little tiny rocket launcher peeking out from beneath...*Oh god...he hasn't reached puberty yet.*

Then he misfired. He didn't even make it to her pants. "Harry, even Tom managed to do better than that." She left his quarters and headed for Tuvok's shrine.

She was damned and determined she was going to get lucky tonight, she'd already gone too far to stop now, her body was screaming for completion. And she was tired of using her hand, in fact, her wrist was sore! She wanted to remember what a real release feels like. Tuvok after all had to be the answer; it was a logical assumption after all. He wasn't prone to the emotional outbursts the other males were, therefore he should at least be able to wait before losing his, eh, cool.

When she got to Tuvok's door she didn't even bother with the chime, she just closed her eyes and walked in. When she didn't hear the telltale signs of anyone scrambling around in embarrassment she opened them. Thankfully she found him meditating; she let out a sigh of relief and spoke softly, "Tuvok?"

Tuvok walked out from behind the bedroom door. "Yes my little minion. What can Dr Love do for you?"

Kathryn saw the freaky little mustache Tuvok had miraculously grown and decided this was even to weird for her. *Time to cut your nails Kathryn.*

She ran screaming from the room and back to her quarters. She ran through her door and to her bedroom where she stopped dead in her tracks. There, on her bed, were Harry, Tom, Chakotay and she didn't even want to know what they were doing to that poor poodle. She dropped to her knees and began to scream. She felt someone shake her shoulder and jerked around, "What!?"

Chakotay looked at her, "Kathryn? Are you alright?" He lifted himself onto his elbow and stared at her, "What's wrong?"

She looked around, her eyes darting wilding around the room, "Nothing, just a nightmare, I hope."

"Do you want to tell me what it was about?" He sat up in bed beside her and smoothed her hair away from her face.

She shook her head as she lay back down, "No, but do me a favor?"

He arched a brow, the corners of his lips twitching into a grin, "Anything."

"Never, ever, ever, let me even consider watching one of Tom's kinky holo-novels again."

THE END