8. Un-Break My Heart And Make Me See the Light

Rating: T
Pairing: J/C, J/M
Summary: What lengths will Janeway go to...
Disclaimer: The premise of Voyager, I don't own, but the story is mine.
Date: October 2001
Length: 714 words

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back the smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

I cried, and I loved, and I thought I would never love like this again. No that's not true, its not that I thought I'd never love again I thought I'd never love you again. I look at you Chakotay, and I see...we're not loving again, we're continuing the love we'd thought forever lost in the lives we'd chosen.

You asked me a question and I'd yet to answer. How could I do this. I hear my mouth saying the words as you make love to me, 'Yes I'll marry you.' Yes we'll be happy right?

Oh god Chakotay, I'm selling my soul so my child can have a father. Forgive me Mike...

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is cruel without you here beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Un-break my heart...please Chakotay, make me remember what we had, don't leave me again. Make me remember what unconditional and undying love is, "Chakotay...I love you."

Chakotay looks at me, as if seeing if this is really the truth. We've been apart for years, and now we're back. Could life and times really not have changed us as much as we think? Are we making up for lost time or just picking up where we left off? "I love you too Kathryn, but if we do this...there's no going back."

I smile and nod, afraid of the words that will come from my mouth.

I'm thinking as my body goes into spasms, the height of my orgasm reached. Then I realize...Mike never made me feel so good, but he did make me feel okay.

Again...a compromise, second best.

I think long and hard, then I realize the truth. Its not Chakotay I'm compromising with, it was Mike, and if I'd seen that, or been able to accept it all along...maybe I would have married Chakotay earlier...maybe I wouldn't have met Mike.

Maybe he wouldn't have married Seven.

Maybe life would have been easier on both of us.

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many, many nights
Un-break my

We have been married for four months now. Our son is a month old. I love him, I love Chakotay, I love Edward. I love life...thank god he came.

Thank god he took me out of the slump I was in.

Thank god he brought me back to life...just thank whatever powers are up there. Until now, I don't think I ever believed in a higher power...but today...and every day after I do.

Un-break my heart
Come back an say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on

And you did Chakotay, you un-broke my heart, and mended the wounds and I truly believe it is because of you I can go on.

Thank you.

THE END