7. When Blue Meets Brown

Rating: T
Pairing: J/C, J/M
Summary: What lengths will Janeway go to...
Disclaimer: The premise of Voyager, I don't own, but the story is mine.
Date: October 2001
Length: 1495 words

This romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up
It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

I sat there staring at Kathryn. Staring at the beauty and the hardness, the pain she contained. I could have sat there staring for hours...but we were interrupted. Her communicator went off. "B'Elanna to Kathryn."

Janeway looked at Chakotay an apologetic look in her eyes. "Sorry Chakotay, this shouldn't be too long."

"Janeway here. What is it B'Elanna?"

"Well Katie seems to be enjoying herself, I was wondering if Chakotay would be okay with me taking her home for the night, her and Miral could have a 'sleepover' of sorts."

Kathryn looked to me, I'd heard the whole conversation, and as far as I was concerned, it was a great idea. On Dorvan, Katie hadn't gotten the chance to make a lot of friends her own age. "I think that'll be a good idea." She paused. "B'Elanna, just give me a holler tomorrow morning when the children wake up, and maybe we can all get together for breakfast, or lunch even."

"Yes ma'am." I heard a giggle on the other end of the line.

"Thanks B'Elanna, I guess I'll see you all tomorrow."

"No problem Kathryn, and soon it looks like there will be three children to be causing us problems."

Kathryn laughed, I watched her. It took years off her face. "Alright, see you tomorrow."

Kathryn turned to me and blushed. "Kathryn..."

She just turned away. "We have a lot to catch up on and I guess it wouldn't be bad to do it in a little bit of a more private setting. Come to my apartment?"

"As long as I get to cook, as I recall, last time I met you, you weren't the best cook in the world."

I heard Kathryn laugh. "I guess that would probably be appropriate, but I should learn soon, this child is going to force a lot of changes in my life." I watched her touch the small swell where her child rested."

An awkward moment between the two of us happens. There is a ‘chemistry’ between us that is stillthere. The attraction, physical, mental...its still there and I realized how much I missed it.

I nodded and we headed to the transporter site.

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

We arrived at Kathryn's appartment. I stared at her, at the small swell of her abdomen, at the healthy glow of her skin. I realized as I stared at her, I still loved her.

I wanted her, but I'm not sure I could have her.

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

I looked at Kathryn. "Kathryn...what happens now?"

Kathryn looked at me. "What do you mean? I'm exhausted, I'm tired of fighting everything Chakotay."

Kathryn went and sat on the couch, her head fell in her hands. As I watched her closely I realized she was crying. I walked over to her. "Oh Kathryn, come here." I sat down on the couch and took her in my arms. I tried to calm her down. "Kathryn..."

She leaned into me, I loved the way she felt. I turned around and she leaned into me a little closer. "I'm so sorry, I heard about Mike."

She sniffled and wiped her nose with her sleeve. The most undignified thing I'd ever seen Kathryn Janeway do. "You know what they say Chakotay, when it rains it pours." She drew in a deep breath. "And with my life, it seems like its a thunderstorm."

She was all hunched over, and I looked at her. Unsure of where to go. "Kathryn, stand up, I want to take a good look at you." The look of horror in her eyes broke my heart.

"I can't Chakotay, I'm fat, I'm huge...I don't want you to see me like this."

Chakotay pulled her tighter, "Why not Kathryn? I still think you're the most beautiful woman in the world. If you weighed 600 lbs, I'd still think so."

Kathryn looked at Chakotay. "Chakotay, you were married to Seven. She was the epitomy of beauty, how can you say that?"

"Kathryn, I was married to her, but I didn't love her, not the way I love you."

Kathryn let the tears fall again. Chakotay got up and stood in front of Kathryn. He reached his hands out. "Kathryn honey, give me your hands."

Kathryn did as told. He pulled her up and gazed down in her beautiful blue eyes. She refused to look right at him. He looked down at her abdomen, and as he did this, she pulled her hands away and dropped them in front of her.

"Kathryn, I want to see your belly. Let me see the baby."

Kathryn was horrified. "Chakotay, this is another man's baby and at the moment I feel fat and unfit."

Chakotay sat down on the couch and spread his legs out. He pulled her down so that Kathryn was sitting there with him. "At least let me feel it. Let me see how 'fat' you think you are."

He let his hands slip down to her belly, and she tried to push him away. "Chakotay, don't do this."

Chakotay let his hands roam her belly, feeling the child there. "Oh Kathryn, you're beautiful, and it doesn't matter to me one bit that its another man's baby."

Kathryn's hands joined his, roaming her body. He let his hands slip under her shirt and feel her soft skin. Tears came again to Kathryn's eyes. Kathryn pulled his hands away. "Chakotay, why are you here?"

Chakotay hesitated. "I came to ask you something. I came to see you. I wanted...I heard you weren't doing so well."

Kathryn looked at him, changing her position. "So what did you want to ask me?"

Chakotay breathed in. "I wanted to know...I was wondering if...well could we make our families one?"

Kathryn's hands flew to her mouth, surprise making her nervous. "You can't be..."

Kathryn stopped and gasped, hands dropping to her abdomen, confusion flowing across her features. Her hands flew across her belly. "Kathryn...what's wrong?"

Tears of sorrow changed to tears of joy. "Nothing Chakotay, I think the baby just moved, you have to feel this."

Chakotay brought his hands her abdomen, left them there waiting to feel the movement. They repositioned themselves as before, spooning on the couch, his hands roaming and waiting.

Chakotay felt a slight movement. Tears filled his eyes too.

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time

Yeah, I will love you baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you
Chakotay looked to Kathryn. "Kathryn Janeway, will you marry me?"

Well, there ain't no luck
In these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines
And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

*~*~*~*

The song was 'Always' by Bon Jovi

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END PART VII
TCB in Part VIII: Un-Break My Heart and Make Me See The Light
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